Momfession #31: When did I become a prude?

My sister’s bachleorette party is this weekend, and although I promised her no penis-shaped necklaces or shot glasses, I still felt that no ladies night would be complete without a few raunchy-themed items. So, off I went to the local sex shop. At 1pm. On a Wednesday. And apart from the surprise that I had when I realized how many older business people frequent sex shops during their lunch hours (for much more serious purposes than mine; like the 60-something man who was having a rousing chat with the sales clerk about which lube worked- and tasted- best), I made a much more serious discovery.

I had become a complete prude.

I am not sure when it happened. In my younger days, I had candid and colourful discussions about sex without batting an eyelash. X-rated movies were no big deal to me (they were mostly just hilarious). I’ve even been to a strip club or two. But today, I was just an awkward, uncomfortable, red-faced mom trying to keep a straight face while browsing the “fetish” section (handcuffs and bondage tape and whips…oh my!).

The entire time I was in the store, I kept telling myself, “Your’re a grown adult…what is the big deal? Why are you so embarrassed?!” But I never got an answer. And thinking about it now, I still don’t quite know what has changed. Except maybe that I am older, and the novelty of it all has worn off. Or maybe it is because I spend my days worrying about potty training, math homework, and cleaning the house. There isn’t much time left to think about sex toys, erotic playing cards (??) and massage oils. And to be honest, if I am going to spend money on something these days, I’d rather spend it on a new furnace, since ours is dying a slow death. Aww yeah…now THAT’S hot.


Author: momfessional

Just an unperfect mom in an unperfect world. What`s YOUR momfession?

4 thoughts on “Momfession #31: When did I become a prude?”

  1. Coll: its not just you. And its not just a mom thing. Currently reading Fifty Shades of Grey, and let me tell you–I think I found my Puritan sensibilities. Not only that, a guy got fired here at work and apparently his hard drive was riddled with risque stuff and I felt offended that he was watching stuff like that on the other side of my office wall. Since when do I take offense?? Do you recall all those “tupperware parties” we went to at University? Some people out here have revived that and quite frankly, now . . . I’d prefer to get invited to a real tupperware party. This made me feel better.

    1. Yeah, I totally remember those sex toy parties! And yes, I would also rather go to a real tupperware party…I can’t find any matching lids to my current bowls! 🙂

  2. Nope it’s not just you! I’m right there with ya!
    AND – funny enough, our A/C broke down 2 days ago and I was thinking about the things we choose to spend our money on now a days!

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