Momfession #27: Mom-ception vs. reality

When I was a teenager, like most other teenage girls, I had a somewhat altered view of my body. I thought my thighs were fat, my belly too flabby, and my ass too wide. I wore long shirts to cover my lower half, felt uncomfortable in anything fitted or low-cut and often wore baggy pants. Of course, I look back now at my 120 lb body with sheer envy. What was I thinking back then? 17-year-old me had no clue what flab, cellulite, and stretch marks were in store for her.

These days, I have a different kind of altered perception. I like to call it mom-ception and it goes something like this…

You’ve been feeling pretty good about yourself lately…you’ve been exercising, dieting and you can fit into most of your pre-pregnancy clothes (and not just the shirts either…but the pants!). One evening, you hop on the scale to see how much you weigh so you can give yourself a congratulatory pat on the back and bowl of Ben & Jerry’s when you realize that you weigh as much as you did when you were four months pregnant. How is that possible? You get your husband to weigh himself in the hopes that the scale is wrong. You go to the drugstore and test every one of their scales. You make excuses to use friends’ bathrooms frequently to check if they have a better scale, since all of the ones you have tried are obviously broken. Then you start thinking…am I fatter than I think I am? Has my perception of how I look changed so much after having a kid that I am not only OK with being 20lbs overweight, but I actually think I look good?

Here’s another example…you’re walking down a busy street in the middle of the afternoon and are surrounded by attractive, young, trendy business people going about their days. You feel good…you’ve worn your cute new skinny jeans and your favourite flirty and functional ballet flats. You totally fit right in…or so you think. Suddenly, you walk past a store window and catch a glimpse of yourself: staring back at you is a cardigan-clad, makeup-free, overdue-for-a-haircut, plain old MOM.

Both of these situations happened to me recently and it really gave me pause for thought. When did it happen that I not only stopped caring about how I looked so much, but I actually started believing that I still looked thin, trendy, and young when in reality I am not any of those things? Perhaps it comes with age…and maybe it happens to everyone, and not just moms.

So this mom needs some help from all of you in the blogosphere: dear fellow women (and especially moms)…am I alone in this altered reality of mine? Or, do you sometimes experience a bit of mom-ception too? 


Author: momfessional

Just an unperfect mom in an unperfect world. What`s YOUR momfession?

8 thoughts on “Momfession #27: Mom-ception vs. reality”

  1. Oh I so have mom-ception some days! Mostly I’m just still too hard on myself, just like when I was a dumb teenager who didn’t realize I was the thinnest I’d ever be. I know I need to appreciate my current self more (when we’re 70 we’ll think how great we looked at this age after all!) and I need to do just a few things occasionally to pretty up my current self – it always feels good to do them (makeup, hair NOT in a ponytail, nice jeans instead of yoga pants).

  2. Now that I am almost 40, have three beautiful daughters – I look at my not-so-perfect figure and my wrinkles and I think – wow – you look great for all that you’ve done so far in life! Looking perfect is not what my life is about – I’m real and I’m me! I will never look the way I did in highschool, so why fight it? I watch what I eat, wear the clothes I like, wear make up when I want and I accept that this is me now. I make the most of what I have and I am ok with it (most of the time;)

  3. It’s not an ‘altered’ reality – it’s reality! And I think the new reality comes with a great deal of acceptance, not guilt or shame (ok maybe a little guilt). I have felt those experiences too and they used to really despress me. Most days however, I know I am exercising, eating well and doing my very best (any my very best may mean totally different things any given day!) to look my best. Everything in moderation … including mom-ception 🙂
    P.S. Found you through YMC!

  4. I had avoided the bathroom scale for months. I was afraid it might confirm for me what I already suspected based on the fact that my clothes seemed to be shrinking. To deal with this reality, I bought some new clothes: don’t they say that you need to dress in clothes that fit properly in order to look and feel your best. That’s how I created my mom-ception. Plus, there are very few mirrors in our house, and the one full-length one that I might actually catch a glimpse of myself is kind of like one of those fun-house mirrors, but the good kind, the kind that makes you long and lean. So my mirror, my larger clothes and I lived pretty happily for a while.
    Then, on a recent vacation, I saw myself in different, probably much more accurate mirrors. Plus, it was not physically possible to fasten the ski pants that I wore before children, almost 6 years ago. That was my wake up call. Now, knowing that I’ll never get back to the shape I was, (even when I was 17 and crazy because I thought I needed to be smaller), I’m trying to do something about it. Wouldn’t it be nice to turn my mom-ception into reality.

    1. I have done the buy new clothes to fit my body thing too. My favourite is those jeans with the stretchy waistband…makes me feel like I can *actually* wear skinny jeans!

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